well God bless you it's a joy to come
into your homes and if you're ever in
our area please stop by and be a part of
one of our services I promise you we'll
make you feel right at home I like to
start with something funny and I heard
about these three sons that left home
and went out and prospered they got back
together to talk about the gifts they
bought their elderly mother the first
son said I built Mom a big house the
second one said I got her a fancy car
the third son said since mom loves to
read the Bible but she can barely see
anymore I got her a specially trained
parrot that can quote the entire Bible a
few months later they received a letter
from their mother it said Milton the
house you built me is way too big caral
the car you bought me is way too small
but my dearest Donald your simple gift
is my favorite the chicken was
delicious say it like you mean it this
is my Bible I am what it says I am I
have what it says I have I can do what
it says I can do today I will be taught
the word of God I boldly confess my mind
is alert my heart is receptive I will
never be the same in Jesus name God
bless bless
you I want to talk to you today about
not relying on people it's great when
people believe in US cheer us on make us
feel valuable we love when our spouse
compliments us a friend is there to give
encouragement our coworker stays late to
help us on a project God uses people to
help move us toward our destiny but
here's the key you can't become so
dependent on people that you're getting
your worth and value out of how they
treat you it's easy to become addicted
to compliments addicted to encouragement
addicted to them cheering you on now you
rely on them to keep you feeling good
about yourself to always be there to
validate you to make you feel approved
like a drug if they don't keep you fixed
meet all your expectations you get
discouraged feel inferior work overtime
to try to win their approval
the problem is you're trying to get from
people what only God can give your worth
your value doesn't come from another
person it comes from your creator if you
rely on people you'll be disappointed
people will let you down people will get
busy and not be there when you need it
sometimes people will even turn on you
in the scripture Peter was Jesus close
friend they were with each other day and
night but when Jesus needed Peter the
most when he was about to be crucified
Peter denied that he even knew Christ
Jesus could have been upset God I don't
understand it why wasn't my friend there
for me he would have missed his Destiny
quit relying on people what they do or
don't do doesn't determine your worth
what they give you or don't give you
cannot stop your purpose God breathed
his life into you he has crowned you
with his favor quit waiting for people
to approve you and start approving
yourself people may not encourage you
you can encourage yourself people may
not make you feel special you can make
yourself feel special I'm a child of the
most high God I know I'm crowned with
favor I'm one of a kind I'm a
masterpiece you'll have better
relationships if you'll start validating
yourself if you're always depending on
somebody else you'll become need
a burden waiting for other people to
keep you fixed can I tell you your
friends family members they have enough
problems of their own they have enough
issues that they're dealing with to not
come home and have to work on you for 3
hours that's not only hurting you it's
unfair to the people God put in your
life they're not responsible for your
happiness they're not responsible to
keep you cheered up don't put that extra
pressure on them learn to receive your
value your selfworth from your heavenly
father if you're basing that off of what
people give you then if they change
their mind if they stop doing it you'll
feel devalued but when you go to God for
it nobody can take it away it's not
dependent on how somebody treats you how
they make you feel how many compliments
they give you it's dependent on the fact
that you're a child of almighty God and
you know he has already approved you
that's where you're getting your value
well Joel my parents didn't raise me
right I didn't have a good childhood my
spouse never compliments me my boss
didn't give me the credit that I deserve
I say this respectfully if you didn't
get it you didn't need it they can't
stop your destiny what they say or do
cannot override God's plan for your life
shake off the
negativity that person that walked away
Did You Wrong made hurtful comments
shake off the disrespect don't believe
the lies that you're not talented enough
attractive enough good enough they don't
determine your value they can't lessen
your selfworth the only Power people
have over you is the power that you give
them Jesus had all kinds of people come
against him politicians religious
leaders haters critics trying to
discredit him make make him feel
inferior cause him to give up he could
have taken the bait thought I must not
be too special listen to what they're
saying look at how they're treating me
but Jesus understood this principle he
knew his value didn't come from people
it came from his heavenly father and he
said to them in John chapter 5 your
approval or disapproval means nothing to
me he was saying I don't need your
approval to feel good about myself I
don't have to have your encouragement
your support to keep me moving forward
Paul said it this way in Philippians I
am
self-sufficient in Christ
sufficiency not in our own stram but
when we know the creator of the universe
lives in us he's equipped us empowered
us anointed us we can put our shoulders
back hold our head up high knowing that
if God approves us we don't have to have
people's approval it's good when people
encourage us when they cheer us on what
I'm saying is don't become dependent on
that if somebody's not giving you what
you expect they're not validating you
that's okay you can validate yourself
you can approve yourself you are
self-sufficient in Christ sufficiency
you can feel good about who you are
knowing that God handpicked you created
You In His Image put seeds of greatness
on the inside what am I say saying you
don't need somebody else's praise you
don't have to have people's Applause you
have the Applause from the one who
matters most from the God who spoke
worlds into existence I'd rather have
his Applause than people's Applause well
if I could convince this person to like
me they know a lot of people then maybe
some new doors would open the scripture
says promotion doesn't come from people
it comes from the Lord God knows where
all the opportunities are he can make
things happen for you without you having
to convince somebody to like you you
don't have to play up to people try to
win their favor if they don't want to be
your friend it's their loss and not
yours do yourself a favor and keep
moving forward they're not a part of
your destiny God has Divine connections
people he's already lined up they're
already in your
future sometimes the reason people don't
give us what we need is because they
don't have it nobody gave it to them
they didn't see it modeled growing up if
they weren't raised showing affection
with people expressing feelings being
good to each other the problem is they
don't have it to give if you're trying
to get it from them you're going to be
frustrated why don't you let them off
the hook and go to God for what they
can't give you here's the key God has it
all if you'll learn this principle to
not rely on people but to go to him for
your encouragement for your approval for
your selfworth then you won't live
stressed out because somebody is not
giving you what you expect if nobody's
complimenting you you can compliment
yourself get up in the morning look at
yourself in the mirror good morning you
goodlooking thing Call It by
faith God calls you a
masterpiece say what God says about you
I'm strong I'm healthy I'm one of a kind
I'm highly favored you have to build
yourself up Encourage Yourself
compliment yourself you cannot rely on
your spouse your parents your coach your
teacher your pastor they may mean well
they couldn't love you anymore but no
person can meet all of your needs only
God can if you're just looking to people
eventually you're going to become
resentful bitter start holding that
against them it will sour the relation a
ship and the truth is it's not their
fault maybe they have issues they could
be do doing better in areas but if
you'll not rely on people instead go to
God then you won't be dependent on what
somebody does if they're not giving you
what you need and that was the only way
to get it they would control your
destiny God didn't design the plan for
your life and say okay it's all
dependent on if these other people do
what's right if they encourage you if
they cheer you on if they never let you
down well God put everything you need
within your power instead of us living
needy oh man why don't they compliment
me why won't they be my friend the right
attitude is nobody owes me anything I
don't have to have People's Credit their
Applause their support their compliments
I am self-sufficient I know where to go
for everything that I
need my father was raised very poor on a
cotton Farm during the Great Depression
he didn't have enough food hardly any
clothes a limited education was a very
rough childhood at the age of 17 my dad
gave his life to Christ and he left the
farm and went out and started
ministering years later when he was in
his 40s and had become a successful
Minister he started thinking about how
he was raised and all the things he had
to endure he wondered why his parents
didn't give him a better childhood and
why he had to go without food and
without a good education and all these
negative memories filled his mind and he
started thinking ah that wasn't right
they should have done better they didn't
give me what I needed he got so stirred
up about it he was about to travel back
to his parents' Hometown and confront
his parents and tell them what he
thought just before he left he heard
something on the inside saying they did
you wrong didn't they he said yeah they
sure did it said it wasn't fair was it
they didn't give you what you needed he
answered no it wasn't fair you're going
to let them have it yeah I'm going to
let them have it then the voice said how
do you think you would have done if you
would have been in their shoes with no
income with the bank's closing with
nobody to buy the cotton with six
children to raise no electricity no
washing machines no modern-day
conveniences that conversation changed
my father's perspective he realized his
parents did the best they could with
what they had they couldn't give him
what they didn't
have why don't you let the people in
your life off the hook maybe they did
the best they could they may have made
decisions that you don't understand
feels like it put you at a disadvantage
but you didn't have to walk in their
shoes maybe nobody gave them what they
needed to give to you bottom line
nobody owes you anything God is keeping
all the records he has seen everything
that's happened in your life the
Injustice the bad breaks the person that
Did You Wrong those people cannot pay
you back they cannot make you whole only
God can he said he would give you beauty
for the ashes he would pay you back
double for the unfair things that have
happened quit looking to people to make
it up to you quit trying to get somebody
to apologize to admit they were wrong to
give you what they don't have if you'll
go to God he'll bring you out better
he'll make the rest of your life more
rewarding more fulfilling than it would
have been if that hadn't have happen in
the first place that's what my father
did he let it go he realized his parents
couldn't give him what they didn't have
Daddy went on to live a blessed
prosperous successful life when you let
people off the hook and quit trying to
make them perform perfectly and keep you
fixed not only will their life be better
but your relationships will
improve no matter how good of a person
is they can't give you everything that
you need I realize I can't meet everyone
of Victoria's needs I can do my best I
can compliment her encourage her treat
her with respect but I'm human I have
flaws
shortcomings if she just looks to me
she'll be disappointed but if you'll
look to God you'll never be
disappointed no person has
100% I've heard it said in a
relationship the most the other person
will have is 80% what you need there
will always be 20% that they don't have
to give you the mistake we make is we
leave the 80 to go find the 20 in
somebody else the problem is that next
person will be missing 20% as well I
know some of you are thinking Joel my
wife is missing a lot more than
20% think of it this way if she had more
she wouldn't have married
you I'm sicking with the
ladies part of the 20% that I'm missing
that Victoria needs is I don't like to
talk a lot you see me up here and I seem
outgoing but in private I'm more quiet
and reserved small talk is not one of my
favorite things and yes at home we talk
and laugh and have fun together but
Victoria and her family they can talk
for hours they enjoy each
other we were having lunch one time at
our house with all of her family and you
know after about 30 minutes when I'd
finished eating I asked to be excused
and I went to the back and watched the
football game 3 and 1 half hours later I
came back and they were still sitting at
the table nobody had moved I was so
amazed I asked them did y'all go
somewhere detroy said no we didn't go
anywhere I said what are you talking
about Victoria said
nothing they talk about nothing longer
than anybody I know but the key to a
good relationship is to recognize the
other person's strengths and weaknesses
then give them room to be who they are
don't try to squeeze them into your mold
what I appreciate about Victoria she
doesn't say Joel come in here and visit
with us for 3 and 1/2 hours or I'll get
upset I'll give you the cold shoulder
she recognizes that's a part of the 20%
that I don't have I thank God every day
that I didn't get it
but Victoria she doesn't try to squeeze
me into her mold and even more
importantly she doesn't try to get
something from me that I don't have if
you're relying on another person to meet
all your needs and become everything in
your life you're going to be
disappointed you have to let them off
the
hook sometimes God will let us go
through Seasons where we're not getting
what we expect from people on purpose
he'll have them withhold it to teach us
to not rely on another person but to get
our encouragement our value our worth
from him and when I first started
ministering back in 1999 I was very
insecure
very unsure of myself I'd never done it
my dad had that heart attack and went to
be with the Lord and I stepped up to
pastor of the church and I was so
concerned about what people thought and
was I doing it good enough were they
going to accept me after the services
when I talk with visitors and different
people I lived off of people's
compliments Joel that was good today I
really enjoyed it those comments were
like water to a thirsty soul I was
getting my approval my validation from
people and you know God uses that to
keep us going keep us moving but at some
point like a mother weans a baby off a
bottle so the child can grow up God is
going to wean you off having to have
people's compliments people's Applause
doesn't mean it's never going to happen
it means you're going to get to a place
where you're not dependent on someone
else cheering you on so you can feel
good about yourself you're not depend Ed
on them complimenting you and keeping
you encouraged it's nice to hear but
you've developed this
self-sufficiency you don't rely on
people for their approval you go to God
for your
approval the first year that I started
ministering at Lakewood every time I got
up to speak people would cheer for me
they were very encouraging very loyal
and supportive every time I walked off
the platform Victoria would say Joel
that was amazing today you did so good
could have been the worst message in the
world I could always count on her to
tell me it was good I know sometimes she
was lying but I needed it back
then one day I just finished my message
about a year in and I walked off the
platform and Victoria didn't say a word
I stood there and waited and waited gave
her plenty of opportunity still nothing
I thought well she just preoccupied
thinking about something else I went out
to visit with the visitors and talk with
different people not one person
complimented me on my sermon usually
every other person says something just
being polite I thought they were playing
a trick on me I left there so
discouraged I got home my little dog can
hear our car coming in she's always at
the back door so happy to see me jumping
up on me I opened the door my dog wasn't
even
there I walked over she was in her bed
and she looked up at me barely opened
her eyes like oh it's just you Clos your
eyes went back to
sleep God will use your dog even to work
on
you looking back now I realize God was
teaching me to not rely on what people
think to have to have their Applause and
their approval if I had not learned that
back then I wouldn't be standing here
today because the higher God takes you
there will be more disapproval more
opposition more critics if you're facing
your worth and value on how people are
treating you and how much they're
cheering you on and you're trying to
keep all of them happy you'll never
become everything God created you to be
in those early years if I heard one
negative comment it'd ruin my whole
Sunday I'd go home discouraged thinking
that I didn't do good enough but now
that I've been weaned off that bottle so
to speak if I hear something negative
doesn't bother me I realize as long as
I'm doing my best honoring God I don't
have to have people's approval I have
Almighty God's
approval here's the thing you're never
going to keep everyone happy quit trying
to please people when you come to the
end of your life you are not going to
stand before people and give an account
you're going to stand before God he's
not going to say did you keep everyone
happy did you please all your family did
you have the support from your
co-workers he's going to ask did you
fulfill my purpose for your life did you
run your race did you finish your
assignment maybe like with me you're not
getting from people what you used to the
compliments the support the
encouragement instead of being
frustrated Have A New Perspective God is
growing you up he's getting you prepared
for the next level of your destiny the
less you depend on people the stronger
your spiritual muscles are going to
become and the higher you're going to go
in Judges chapter 7 the midianites
joined forces with two other armies that
crossed the Jordan River and were about
to attack the Israelites Gideon put out
a call to all of his men 32,000 Israeli
Warriors showed up ready to fight Gideon
was feeling good he had a large army to
protect the people of Israel they
marched out toward those enemies but God
said to him in verse two Gideon you have
too many people with you if you win the
battle you'll think you did it in your
own strength God instructed him to tell
everyone that wanted to leave anyone
that was afraid they could go back home
22,000 men turned around and left he
lost 2third of his army I'm sure Gideon
gulped and said God did you see what
just happened God said yes I saw it but
Gideon you still have too many people
and God told Gideon to take those
remaining 10,000 men down to get a drink
he was to divide them into two groups
every man that put his mouth to the
water and drank that was one group the
second group was The Men Who CED their
hands and brought the water to their
mouth
9,700 men put their mouth to the water
that was the group that was to go home
only 300 men drank it the other way his
army went from 32,000 to 300 I can
imagine getting and thought God I was
confident with 32,000 I was a little
worried with 10,000 but God 300 men this
is
impossible God was saying Gideon you
don't need everyone that you think you
need you're depending on too many people
God is saying that to us you don't need
all of your co-workers to support you
you don't have to have all your friends
and family members cheering you on
here's the key the less you depend on
people the greater the anointing in your
life when you're not depending on
someone else hoping that they'll help
you thinking that they're the Savior
then God will release his favor in your
life in a greater way Gideon went out
with those 300 men 1% of what he started
with God supernaturally help them to
defeat those armies that were much
bigger and much more equipped in the
same way God is going to give you
victories where the odds were totally
against you you know you could
accomplish your goal if you had the
support the connections you could
overcome that obstacle if you had the
strongest players the best people on
your legal team God is saying don't
worry about it you don't have to have
all those people you and God are a
majority
the forces that are for you are greater
than the forces that are against you now
quit saying oh if they just train me if
they just get behind me if you'll quit
depending on people the anointing will
increase in your own life you'll
accomplish more with less help with less
people because of God's favor on your
life are you frustrated because you
don't think you have enough support have
this New Perspective the greatest force
in the universe is breathing in your
direction right now are you discouraged
because people are not giving you what
they used to it's because God's growing
you up quit trying to get from people
what only God can give go to him for
your value your selfworth for your
encouragement if you'll start passing
these tests not relying on people you'll
not only live more confident more secure
but I believe and declare like Gideon
you're going to overcome obstacles that
looked insurmountable accomplish dreams
that seemed impossible and reach the
fullness of your destiny in Jesus name
if you receive it can you say Amen
today we never like to close our
broadcast without giving you an
opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of
your life would you pray with me just
say Lord
Jesus I'll repent of my
sins come into my heart I make you my
Lord and
Savior friends if you prayed that simple
prayer we believe you got born again get
in a good bible-based church keep God
first place he's going to take you
places that you've never dreamed
